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Borowitz writes: "Senator Rand Paul said that he is opposing President Joe Biden's infrastructure plan because it 'infringes on bridges' constitutional right to crumble.'"

Rand Paul. (photo: Getty Images)
Rand Paul. (photo: Getty Images)


Rand Paul Claims Biden's Infrastructure Plan Infringes on Bridges' Right to Crumble

By Andy Borowitz, The New Yorker

05 April 21

 

The article below is satire. Andy Borowitz is an American comedian and New York Times-bestselling author who satirizes the news for his column, "The Borowitz Report."


enator Rand Paul said that he is opposing President Joe Biden’s infrastructure plan because it “infringes on bridges’ constitutional right to crumble.”

“Decay, deterioration, and collapse are all a part of the natural process of entropy,” Paul said. “It is not the job of government to play God and interfere with that.”

Warning of the “slippery slope of government overreach,” Paul said that the Biden plan is “threatening our infrastructure’s precious freedom to disintegrate.”

“First they came for our bridges, then they came for our potholes, and then they came for our lead water pipes,” he said.

The Kentucky senator’s comments drew support from an unlikely ally, Dr. Anthony Fauci. “Look, I was just glad to see Rand talking about something besides the pandemic,” Fauci said.

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