RSN Fundraising Banner
FB Share
Email This Page
add comment

writing for godot

Still The Best

Print
Written by Lorian Eades   
Wednesday, 26 June 2013 02:18
This week the bar on creative weaponry was raised to new high. Two separate groups of American wheeler-dealers demonstrated exemplar innovation and leadership by really delivering the goods.

In upstate NY, a couple of guys decided to build and market a radiation beam weapon. An engineer from General Electric (Glen Scott Crawford) and an out of work computer software developer (Eric J. Feight) pooled their expertise to design and start construction of a, "a radiation emitting device that could be placed in the back of a van to covertly emit ionizing radiation strong enough to bring about radiation sickness or death against Crawford's enemies." Although the FBI had acquired evidence that Crawford was, "a member of the United Northern and Southern Knights of the Klu Kluk Klan" and a member of a Tea Party group Americans Demanding Liberty and Freedom, the two inspired capitalists were not bound by any real political agenda or dogmatic beliefs. In the truest entrepreneurial spirit, they conspired to sell the device to both Jewish groups and a southern branch of the Klu Kluk Klan. These two death ray tycoons had tested a remote triggering device and were in the process of assembling the weapon when they were arrested. Hopefully they had a doomsday plan and their design will automatically be released on the internet...

http://www.timesunion.com/local/article/Terrorism-radiation-plot-uncovered-in-Albany-4609567.php#page-1

Meanwhile out west, our friends in the asylum we fondly know as Idaho were also busy. With the marketing slogan, "Do 72 virgins a favor" a Boise based business is now selling Jihawg Ammo mail-order They offer a wide variety of rounds in the most popular calibers that, "promote peace through the natural deterrence of pork infused ballistic coating." They hope the world will, "Put some ham in Mohamed." They also have quite a sense of fashion and offer good selection of apparel, targets and hats embracing spanking our Muslim foes with some bacon. It appears that in 2010 some of the good citizens of Idaho County were getting drunk around a bonfire and stewing with disgust at the idea of a mosque near 9/11 ground zero and came up with one of the greatest ideas of all time:

"History of dealings with radical Islam from the days of Jefferson and the Barbary Pirates to actions of Gen. John J. "Black Jack" Pershing in the early 1900’s in the Philippines gave clarity to a modern day market solution-Jihawg Ammo. Our preference is peace first but if a fight is to be had we are determined and resolved to win. Thus came the beginning of the truest form of defensive ammunition ever created in history."

"Our Porcine Coating (Pattern Pending) is infused with the highest quality pork product made right here in America. Jihawg Ammo is produced in the great state of Idaho."
They claim that Jihawg ammunition is certified Haraam (unclean) and that radical Islamists who become unclean during jihad cannot enter heaven. So… don't just kill a terrorist but send him to hell as well!

Of course Jihawg Ammo insists that their products should only be used defensively.

It is unfortunate that these patriots are mistaken about the ultimate effect of their product - several Islamic clerics have published fatwas that allow the faithful to commit all kinds of unclean acts (including drinking alcohol, eating pork and being sodomized) in the pursuit of jihad.

http://jihawg.com/index.php?route=common/home

In a week when the US middle class was reported to have fallen to 27th place in the world, we are still number 1 in stupid ways to kill. We're still havin' fun...

U S A ! U S A ! U S A ! U S A !
e-max.it: your social media marketing partner
Email This Page

 

THE NEW STREAMLINED RSN LOGIN PROCESS: Register once, then login and you are ready to comment. All you need is a Username and a Password of your choosing and you are free to comment whenever you like! Welcome to the Reader Supported News community.

RSNRSN